Monday, January 23, 2012


So why do we really have facebook or any social network?  Why do people post anything online?  Why do we think that anyone really gives a &#$%...?  I had a co-worker comment, well I've had a bunch of people comment but most recently a co-worker ask what she needed to do so that I would wake up with sunshine and roses.  I guess it really got to me.  Why do I post, well...I live alone, so things that I would normally say to who I live with go on facebook.  I vent about my work, again I live alone and vent to facebook.  I stay in contact with family and friends...aka stalk them and get to dive through their photos and posts with out really having to talk to them.  So it helps me from feeling as guilty that I'm not close with anyone, because I've kept myself updated on their fb status's.  Yes, I have a problem, I post things on my status that come off as pathetic, sad, depressed, self-deprecative, things that are really personal and I shouldn't be posting, I get that.  So I stopped, or at least recently when I want to post something I think, 'would this post give someone an intrigue to further an investigation into my life?'
It's been a rough weekend.  I took a day off work and I don't want to go back tomorrow.  I feel like blah, I don't know how to help this?  I want to be 'normal' so bad, to not feel so useless, so pathetic, and I don't want anyone to see this part of me.  So I guess it's a good reason I live alone.  I can come home and just wallow.   I want not to cry, I've been all weekend.  I hate this.   I truly do.
So what do I do....I decide I can't post anything on FB, so instead I post to my blog, because only a few people really look at it, and they only look after I have put a post on fb that they look it up.  So I'm not worried.
I guess it's off to bed, good night never land.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry you feel blah! I wish I could make it better for you, instead I will say, welcome to my world ...